P.C.

The articles of our faith are comprised in the Perpetuating Contract, the document negotiated between Jehovah Lord of Hosts and Andrew Carnegie of Hellshaft, Pennsylvania at the dawn of time, or was it the American Century, comes to the same thing.

• The Contract specifies a monetary standard for all acts of signification.
• The Contract assures that Ball Shall Continue Bouncing.
• The Contract stipulates that bigger is necessarily better.
• The Contract establishes Unrestricted Growth as a natural right of all enterprises.
• The Contract decrees the rich are not like you and him.
• The Contract redefines the wages of sin.
• The Contract promises every sucker an even break.
• The Contract guarantees liberal injustice for all.
• The Contract says not to worry, we'll think of something.