Reflex

Dear Emily — It seems true, as you always suspected, that my mind isn't right.

How can I tell you this, now that you're halfway around the world, now that your life is so deep in difficulties? Now that so much is at risk for you and for us. Maybe this is not meant for you after all, Emily, maybe I'm just talking to myself again...

Talking to myself again.

He gets these fits, starting out as ordinary vertigo with the racing pulse and the catch in his brain like the rush of dope or a stroke or something — but this time it's different.